There are a lot of things in my past I work hard every day to fix. It is a Never-ending Job trying to make things right.
Some will never hear your words and meaning no matter the purity,
I am guilty of that when I cut people from my life. I burned that bridge and returned those ashes to the earth, That Energy needs to be made positive.
One thing that brings to my mind is the Kids that came into my life that I was a mother figure to, if only a while. I was not the best for them. I honestly had no idea what I was doing. I always said I never wanted kids. But they came and I loved them as my own and I fought for them,
I am just now coming to the realization that I was unmedicated, I was not in therapy or receive and help because we did not know about my bipolar everyone just always said I was angry. My Temper caused a lot of Problems in all my relationships. it was not fair to the Kids. they are between the ages on 19-28 now adults some with kids of their own now.
And while I wish I could say I was a positive influence I can clearly see I was not. I am trying so hard to make up for that with Lydiah, teaching her about Tolerance and That Loving Everyone is the best way to Live Life.
I can only Hope that I am Forgiven. I am simply not the same person I was then.
People Will come across your path throughout your life that you will Connect with on a truly magical Level. You are soul mates for just a fleeting time, bringing you Lessons that you need for growth, knowledge and even physical health. Let me Tell you a story about Repeating patterns.
Would you believe after all I do, I’m still afraid to truly allow people to see the real me? It feels like I am protecting the world from the real me some Days. Well, there is a reason for that. Every time I open up to someone and allow them in, allow my vulnerability to seek through I lose that person or people from my life.
As I grow and learn about myself, I learn to appreciate them more. Yes, you read that right I appreciate them More Each Day. They Tau. me valuable lessons about the kind of Person I truly am. The kind of Person I do not want to be.
Did I fight these changes? Yes, I sure did, and do you know what? It was Hell on me. That walk-through Hell was the darkest of places. When Changes happen and you fight them it will play tricks on your mind and effect you physically.
Have you ever been so depressed that you get sick in your stomach, a fever, a headache, body ache to where you cannot move? It is a nasty side effect of Depression. I am not ashamed to admit that I have lost Jobs Due to Depression.
I have heard the saying that “Pain is just weakness leaving the body” and if we apply it to these situations where you have been hurt, betrayed, abandoned, and ghosted. Those pains really bust through.
Breaking these cycles are the Hardest. Why Because these are Contracts and Lessons your Soul needed to learn this round, these people are not meant for you to hold on to. So, when these situations arise do not fight it, Let it Go.
Examples are including significant other cheating, not giving you attention (if your important you will receive that attention), being ghosted, rumors being spread, lying, sarcastic or hateful tone when communicating, not being available, not listening, lack of communication, etc. Now this covers all types of relationships, Friends family or life Partner. These are toxic situations, and you should be careful.
Recognize your patterns, see that you are not the victim, Life is just supposed to happen this way and you have a choice to make, will you let it Break you or will you break it.
Take a Deep Breath and Break that Cycle.