Welcome to Phase 2 of our Healing Journey. I hope last month’s affirmations got you through some tough times as the holiday season begins. How did you do with the Affirmations, did you get into a routine? How did you feel afterwards? Did you gain some faith in yourself?

This is an exceedingly challenging time of year for most people and that Faith in yourself is especially important. Not everyone is in the Mood for Santa or Elves and some feel like isolation is better. While I do understand needing some alone time. I hope for your own mental health you don’t stay there.

Something I, myself am currently struggling with is feeling like I have a Tribe. Where is my support System?

I have one of course, we all do. When your Mental Health takes a front Row Seat in your theater it tries to change the Program on you. BE the Director of your own world, don’t let false thoughts beat you down.

The People in your life play distinct roles. Not everyone is a person of support. Your Boss and Co-workers are not a place to speak freely. They are people you work with, and most of the time unless you really connect with someone and they become your work bestie, they only care about getting the job done, Making that money.

If you feel like you don’t have a tribe its ok, Lets touch on some things you can do to find your tribe.

Well since I work in the Shadows of Mental Health, let’s dig a bit into what we look for in this style of relationship. If this Helps guide you in other relationships, feel free to us this.

Alright, here is a Checklist.

• Love yourself, Self Confidence comes in time, but showing yourself Love means that you are open to having love for someone else.
• Self-Reflection What kind of a Person do I want in my Life? What supportive traits do you want them to show?
• Join a Group or Organization that has people of similar interest to you.
• Try Something new, go to the Gym, a fun restaurant, heard of a get together or support group go and step out of your comfort zone a little bit.
• Watch out for people who are toxic or speak against your interest. You can be friendly, of course, however, don’t allow someone else’s view or opinions keep you from exploring your own.
• Allow yourself to be vulnerable and accept someone you genuinely connect with.
• Don’t be afraid to express yourself or reach out if Help is Needed.
• Allow Kindness, Love and Trust into your World.

Good Luck getting out there and meeting someone new. I hope you find someone to be your support, your friend, your Family, Your Tribe!

Thank you for Joining me in Phase 2 of our healing Journey. Every month we will have an exercise to work on for a month. Since I identify as a shadow witch I believe in some Shadow work, so that will be incorporated into our steps.

There are a lot of things in my past I work hard every day to fix. It is a Never-ending Job trying to make things right.

Some will never hear your words and meaning no matter the purity,

I am guilty of that when I cut people from my life. I burned that bridge and returned those ashes to the earth, That Energy needs to be made positive.

One thing that brings to my mind is the Kids that came into my life that I was a mother figure to, if only a while. I was not the best for them. I honestly had no idea what I was doing. I always said I never wanted kids. But they came and I loved them as my own and I fought for them,

I am just now coming to the realization that I was unmedicated, I was not in therapy or receive and help because we did not know about my bipolar everyone just always said I was angry. My Temper caused a lot of Problems in all my relationships. it was not fair to the Kids. they are between the ages on 19-28 now adults some with kids of their own now.

And while I wish I could say I was a positive influence I can clearly see I was not. I am trying so hard to make up for that with Lydiah, teaching her about Tolerance and That Loving Everyone is the best way to Live Life.

I can only Hope that I am Forgiven. I am simply not the same person I was then.

People Will come across your path throughout your life that you will Connect with on a truly magical Level. You are soul mates for just a fleeting time, bringing you Lessons that you need for growth, knowledge and even physical health. Let me Tell you a story about Repeating patterns.

Would you believe after all I do, I’m still afraid to truly allow people to see the real me? It feels like I am protecting the world from the real me some Days. Well, there is a reason for that. Every time I open up to someone and allow them in, allow my vulnerability to seek through I lose that person or people from my life.

As I grow and learn about myself, I learn to appreciate them more. Yes, you read that right I appreciate them More Each Day. They Tau. me valuable lessons about the kind of Person I truly am. The kind of Person I do not want to be.

Did I fight these changes? Yes, I sure did, and do you know what? It was Hell on me. That walk-through Hell was the darkest of places. When Changes happen and you fight them it will play tricks on your mind and effect you physically.

Have you ever been so depressed that you get sick in your stomach, a fever, a headache, body ache to where you cannot move? It is a nasty side effect of Depression. I am not ashamed to admit that I have lost Jobs Due to Depression.

I have heard the saying that “Pain is just weakness leaving the body” and if we apply it to these situations where you have been hurt, betrayed, abandoned, and ghosted. Those pains really bust through.

Breaking these cycles are the Hardest. Why Because these are Contracts and Lessons your Soul needed to learn this round, these people are not meant for you to hold on to. So, when these situations arise do not fight it, Let it Go.

Examples are including significant other cheating, not giving you attention (if your important you will receive that attention), being ghosted, rumors being spread, lying, sarcastic or hateful tone when communicating, not being available, not listening, lack of communication, etc. Now this covers all types of relationships, Friends family or life Partner. These are toxic situations, and you should be careful.

Recognize your patterns, see that you are not the victim, Life is just supposed to happen this way and you have a choice to make, will you let it Break you or will you break it.

Take a Deep Breath and Break that Cycle.

Let me just start out by saying that, speaking what is on my mind is the hardest part of my own Spiritual Journey. Teaching myself that my thoughts and opinions matter. By writing these blogs for you, this is my own way of shadow work–my hope is that sharing these helps someone else in the process. Some of us are raised in strict households or perhaps we just held ourselves back. I swear it’s in our astrology charts but, as I am still studying, it’s not for me to speculate.

So let’s go with what I know. I was made to feel undervalued and disrespected my whole life. Now wait, it wasn’t what I was told or how I was treated. Then How? It was all in my head.

Looking back now I can see that it was that really I who held myself back from developing deep connections with others. 

Yes of course I’ve had relationships and friendships, however, they have always seemed hard for me.

Do you ever wish that you had stood up for yourself or had told someone how you truly felt about them? Yes, this goes for those who have passed away to the one you feel got away. Oh, those darn lost loves, the ones that could have had great potential that just held you back. But I’m not here to talk about Loves that were in a previous post.

I want to talk about standing up for yourself against bullies or speaking up for someone who cannot otherwise speak for themselves. As I said it is one of the hardest things to do. The courage it takes to stand your ground against injustices is tough. But you need to be a voice, not just for yourself but for others.

That truly starts with you being who you really are on the inside. 

Start out slowly with the clothes you wear or experiment with your hair. Let it be something fun and liberating at the same time. Allow yourself to cut loose. Say what you will, do what you want. Express your creative side and set those juices flowing. 

One major warning with becoming who you truly are and speaking your truths. You absolutely will offend someone. Remember, that is ok. You will start to see who the real people are around you. This is learning your tribe and finding the right people that are best for your stages of growth. 

A support system is great so that you don’t feel alone. Most likely you will find someone that you can go on those mental and spiritual journeys together. Having someone to be accountable to even if it’s a therapist or your best friend. Transformations aren’t always fun that’s why so many people are stuck in a rut. Fear disables–So Take a Deep Breath, Stand up, and Speak OUT.

What holds us back?

What keeps us down?

What entraps us?

Have you ever been told something you did wasn’t good enough or been told it so much you begin to believe it? That is an example of outside influence. We hold on to what we are told as we grow up because we are learning, and we don’t know any better. That frame of mind gets embedded into our minds as a learned behavior.

As we grow up and see what others do, act, say we also take that in. Everyone learns from another person. Imagine the Damage one negative person can do in a group of ten. It spreads like a virus. Pretty soon you become entrapped by the Negative ideas and eventually you are the only one holding yourself back with the I can’t and I’ll never be good at anything.

Imagine the Possibilities you can create just by changing your own thought process. One where you are the one in control, not anyone else.

It all comes down to mindfulness. While I am no expert, I do know that it worked for me, and I am here to help you.

Start with the simple little things. For example, as a child did you want to participate in school activities, Band, Choir, basketball, or Art Shows How did they overcome their fears and insecurities? Most likely they either had someone supporting them or they Did it themselves.

Mantras and Meditations are a good way to start. I am Strong, I and Powerful, I am Fearless, I am Good, I love Myself, I can do anything, I worked hard for this, I will overcome.

Don’t forget that the Power of Positive thinking isn’t enough. You really must put the work into it. Practice Truly does make perfect. Journaling your progress is a great way to remind you to go further each day, and it doesn’t have to be written down.  You can add simple notes in your calendar app for the day. Dreams as Well. Setting an Alarm on your phone giving yourself inspirational quotes. You can often find Apps everywhere to help boost your self Confidence and Self Esteem.

Try a little more each day. Remind yourself when you fall into your old habits and start those old behaviors again to yell at yourself. Lol productively. Don’t ever give yourself negative feedback. If you catch yourself doing it, work on reframing the statement. Instead of saying You are Horrible at this, Tell Yourself. Great Try! Let’s practice and do better next time.

It’s hard to remind yourself that you are a Beautiful Work in Progress and It’s perfectly ok to Stumble and take steps backward. If you do, You get Up Brush yourself off, and Keep your Head up.

“Never give up” may be a very overused saying. But I have found out that it works very well in my family.  It has gotten us through some very tough Anxiety and Highly Stressful situations. Once you find the one that works for you it will become your family Motto.

Childhood Trauma doesn’t have to destroy your life. You can break free from the Entrapment of our Minds. Break the Chains that held you back and Change Your Fate in the Process. Get out there Wake Up and Be Free.

Have you been where you are unable to do something you wanted to do? You had the opportunity and all the support there, however, you still couldn’t go through with it. You need that little boost of courage to get you through.

Courage Vs Encouragement

Encouragement feeds courage. Think about when you are born. Encouragement is given for you to take your first breath and spreads like a wildfire throughout your life to where you begin to give it to yourself.

How are you doing with that today? What encouragement did you receive today? And do you have a partner in your life that will be that person for you?

Let’s Work An Example

Your Child Loves horses, Thinks Horses are Amazing.

They want to take care of horses and learn to ride them. So, you sign up and pay for riding lessons because they are so excited.

Helmet, check; Boots, check; everything they need, check.

You show up for their first lesson, and your child freezes.

They can’t do it.

How do you respond?

At this point, it becomes a lesson for you, the parent, just as much as it does for the child. Are you giving Encouragement so that they can build Courage in themself?

How are they processing how they feel? Are they scared? How can you help them overcome that fear?

Now is when you dig into your own self-talk.

What Would You Tell Yourself?

Share in the experience, remember support also means knowing you are not alone.

What If You Weren’t Given Encouragement Growing Up?

Some people were told to “just do it” without being allowed to fail. They have forced courage; they grow up with very different personalities. They will sometimes deal with a lot of anxiety and depression alone because if they have a small setback, of any kind, it can be devastating for them.

“Forced Courage” is an oxymoron. It’s an act, an outward face of courage masking internal fear coupled with action. It’s akin to the difference between giving someone a Million Dollars (an award, charitable donation, etc.) and being forced to give someone a Million Dollars (paying ransom, being extorted, etc.).

There are so many versions of how “forced courage” gets developed. Did you receive pep talks but weren’t nurtured through facing your fears? Were you told, “You can do it,” given “encouragement,” but under the words was a hidden threat? “Because if you can’t, won’t, or don’t do it, right now, you’ll never get another chance, and I never want to hear about you wanting to do this again.”

Alert! Alert! Panic Sets In!

I have seen children go into full meltdowns from this. It’s Toxic to the child; if you do this, STOP!

Because at that point, in a child’s head, they begin hearing negative self-talk.

“I’m not good enough, I’m stupid for wanting to do this, I’ve disappointed someone, I bet they hate me now, I will never get a chance again, the thing I love Is now gone.”

All stages of grief hit at once. Children don’t know how to sort all of that out. All of that could have been avoided if handled better.

Not Good Enough….Stupid…Disappointed…Hate…Never…Gone

Does that sound familiar? This is the endless tape of shame, self-hate, and defeat that keeps people living in fear. And it plays over and over every day, at every opportunity, through the entirety of people’s lives. It starts in childhood and continues into adulthood. Holding people back, keeping them from reaching their full potential.

Don’t be the Cause of Someone Else’s Shadow Work!

Do it for yourself, build your own courage. You fight harder for yourself, and it will give you pride.

This Works with anything from jumping off a diving board to addiction. Everyday life is full of daily opportunities to be courageous.

Be Who You Are, Voice Your Truths, Encourage Others, Create a Better Future.