Shadow Talk: Courage

Have you been where you are unable to do something you wanted to do? You had the opportunity and all the support there, however, you still couldn’t go through with it. You need that little boost of courage to get you through.

Courage Vs Encouragement

Courage is what you have within you.

Encouragement is what you receive from others.

Encouragement feeds courage. Think about when you are born. Encouragement is given for you to take your first breath and spreads like a wildfire throughout your life to where you begin to give it to yourself.

How are you doing with that today? What encouragement did you receive today? And do you have a partner in your life that will be that person for you?

Let’s Work An Example

Your Child Loves horses, Thinks Horses are Amazing.

They want to take care of horses and learn to ride them. So, you sign up and pay for riding lessons because they are so excited.

Helmet, check; Boots, check; everything they need, check.

You show up for their first lesson, and your child freezes.

They can’t do it.

How do you respond?

At this point, it becomes a lesson for you, the parent, just as much as it does for the child. Are you giving Encouragement so that they can build Courage in themself?

How are they processing how they feel? Are they scared? How can you help them overcome that fear?

Now is when you dig into your own self-talk.

What Would You Tell Yourself?

Share in the experience, remember support also means knowing you are not alone.

What If You Weren’t Given Encouragement Growing Up?

Some people were told to “just do it” without being allowed to fail. They have forced courage; they grow up with very different personalities. They will sometimes deal with a lot of anxiety and depression alone because if they have a small setback, of any kind, it can be devastating for them.

“Forced Courage” is an oxymoron. It’s an act, an outward face of courage masking internal fear coupled with action. It’s akin to the difference between giving someone a Million Dollars (an award, charitable donation, etc.) and being forced to give someone a Million Dollars (paying ransom, being extorted, etc.).

There are so many versions of how “forced courage” gets developed. Did you receive pep talks but weren’t nurtured through facing your fears? Were you told, “You can do it,” given “encouragement,” but under the words was a hidden threat? “Because if you can’t, won’t, or don’t do it, right now, you’ll never get another chance, and I never want to hear about you wanting to do this again.”

Alert! Alert! Panic Sets In!

I have seen children go into full meltdowns from this. It’s Toxic to the child; if you do this, STOP!

Because at that point, in a child’s head, they begin hearing negative self-talk.

“I’m not good enough, I’m stupid for wanting to do this, I’ve disappointed someone, I bet they hate me now, I will never get a chance again, the thing I love Is now gone.”

All stages of grief hit at once. Children don’t know how to sort all of that out. All of that could have been avoided if handled better.

Not Good Enough….Stupid…Disappointed…Hate…Never…Gone

Does that sound familiar? This is the endless tape of shame, self-hate, and defeat that keeps people living in fear. And it plays over and over every day, at every opportunity, through the entirety of people’s lives. It starts in childhood and continues into adulthood. Holding people back, keeping them from reaching their full potential.

Don’t be the Cause of Someone Else’s Shadow Work!

Do it for yourself, build your own courage. You fight harder for yourself, and it will give you pride.

This Works with anything from jumping off a diving board to addiction. Everyday life is full of daily opportunities to be courageous.

Be Who You Are, Voice Your Truths, Encourage Others, Create a Better Future.

Posted in Shadow Talk.

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