Let’s Talk About: Mental Health Awareness Month–How Mental Health Affects Me as a Witch & Psychic

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With May being Mental Health Awareness month, I want to reach out. This is a subject that is very Important to me. Let me tell you why.

In 2005, I married a man that I had been seeing for a few years. He asked me to marry him 3 times and all 3 times I told him NO. He went to my Father and plans were made for our wedding in September. I didn’t have much say in how it was being planned, I honestly felt like I was being sold.

Early the following year I was admitted to the hospital psychiatric unit for depression and suicidal tendencies. I found out a lot the week in the hospital and it wouldn’t be my last in-house visit.

Among finding out I was diabetic I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 with anxiety.

Pretty Simple having a diagnosis, right? Not exactly. The list of meds that I went through combinations has been brutal on my body, as it does to everyone. But that right balance of meds makes a world of difference. Then there was Therapy which isn’t new to me I had been in Therapy since I tried to unalive myself when I was 14. It was because I felt Unloved and Unwanted. Unfortunately, I still feel like this today.

I’ve learned a lot about myself and that has led on the path of self-discovery that I am on today. Learning Astrology, Shadow Work, and helping others gain awareness and understanding for their own lives.

My Mind is always in work mode, it is always thinking, I am ruled by my Planet Mercury after all. Lol But that makes me just always planning or creating a new Project. I have so many ideas but not enough of me to go around. A hard realization was that Not all my ideas are meant for me to create. I can start them and hand them off to those interested in following on.

Virgo is a mutable sign and rules the mind and completion and boy do I love seeing things come to fruition. The Satisfaction of hard work coming together and Able to grow.

Anyways back to the matter at hand lol.

As Someone with Bipolar 2 and Anxiety, I have issues being around lots of people for long periods of time. It drains my whole body to the state I need to take long restful breaks. For Example, my schedule starts in Febuary and runs through September at the end of Central Wv Pagan Pride. That time is full of my show Divination Night. Fundraising,. A new event, Hallowspring, that was created with friends. And Planning for Central WV Pagan Pride. I then take the time off from my in-person schedule and solely rely on my online bookings.

I am either in Extreme Hypermania or Devastating Depression.

During my Hypermania I am everywhere doing everything having gatherings online and in person pushing myself to my limits.

During the Depression I struggle to be aware of my thoughts, yes, those thoughts and those tendencies.

I am not seeking attention but Awareness.

By telling those closest to you how you are feeling and what your mind is telling you can save your life if you have the right people and support team.

During the Depression is when I’m secluded and sick.

Sick? Yep, you heard that right. The Depression affects your body: Headache, stomachache, issues going to the bathroom, infections, and go into full low-vibration mode. You start feeling Paranoid, like everyone hates you and nobody cares if you exist or not.

As A Psychic & Witch, awareness and understanding of how we are feeling and respecting our limitations and boundaries is very important. Only being active when we are aware and can separate ourselves from the reading that is coming through. Yes, we see those patterns, we wouldn’t be very good at helping others if we weren’t doing the work on ourselves.

The progress that we have made and continue to make are just examples of our desire for Healing, Learning, Awareness and Advocacy. Because we Not only fight for ourselves, but we are also fighting for you as well.

We want you to make better choices, we want to see you improve your life, and we want to know that you’re not hurting anymore–any real psychic or reader will give it to you straight and not lie to you. We are not therapists, we are people who care and want to see you live a better life. When 1 Rise, We All Rise.

So, just pulling all that together.

Please don’t have stigma when choosing a Psychic that openly talks about the struggles they have been through. They have experience that might help you.

Ok off my soapbox for now.

I love and miss you all!

You will be hearing more about what is coming soon. –Lady Gwendolyn

Shadow Talk: Speaking Your Truth

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Let me just start out by saying that, speaking what is on my mind is the hardest part of my own Spiritual Journey. Teaching myself that my thoughts and opinions matter. By writing these blogs for you, this is my own way of shadow work–my hope is that sharing these helps someone else in the process. Some of us are raised in strict households or perhaps we just held ourselves back. I swear it’s in our astrology charts but, as I am still studying, it’s not for me to speculate.

So let’s go with what I know. I was made to feel undervalued and disrespected my whole life. Now wait, it wasn’t what I was told or how I was treated. Then How? It was all in my head.

Looking back now I can see that it was that really I who held myself back from developing deep connections with others. 

Yes of course I’ve had relationships and friendships, however, they have always seemed hard for me.

Do you ever wish that you had stood up for yourself or had told someone how you truly felt about them? Yes, this goes for those who have passed away to the one you feel got away. Oh, those darn lost loves, the ones that could have had great potential that just held you back. But I’m not here to talk about Loves that were in a previous post.

I want to talk about standing up for yourself against bullies or speaking up for someone who cannot otherwise speak for themselves. As I said it is one of the hardest things to do. The courage it takes to stand your ground against injustices is tough. But you need to be a voice, not just for yourself but for others.

That truly starts with you being who you really are on the inside. 

Start out slowly with the clothes you wear or experiment with your hair. Let it be something fun and liberating at the same time. Allow yourself to cut loose. Say what you will, do what you want. Express your creative side and set those juices flowing. 

One major warning with becoming who you truly are and speaking your truths. You absolutely will offend someone. Remember, that is ok. You will start to see who the real people are around you. This is learning your tribe and finding the right people that are best for your stages of growth. 

A support system is great so that you don’t feel alone. Most likely you will find someone that you can go on those mental and spiritual journeys together. Having someone to be accountable to even if it’s a therapist or your best friend. Transformations aren’t always fun that’s why so many people are stuck in a rut. Fear disables–So Take a Deep Breath, Stand up, and Speak OUT.

Shadow Talk: Entrapment

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What holds us back?

What keeps us down?

What entraps us?

Have you ever been told something you did wasn’t good enough or been told it so much you begin to believe it? That is an example of outside influence. We hold on to what we are told as we grow up because we are learning, and we don’t know any better. That frame of mind gets embedded into our minds as a learned behavior.

As we grow up and see what others do, act, say we also take that in. Everyone learns from another person. Imagine the Damage one negative person can do in a group of ten. It spreads like a virus. Pretty soon you become entrapped by the Negative ideas and eventually you are the only one holding yourself back with the I can’t and I’ll never be good at anything.

Imagine the Possibilities you can create just by changing your own thought process. One where you are the one in control, not anyone else.

It all comes down to mindfulness. While I am no expert, I do know that it worked for me, and I am here to help you.

Start with the simple little things. For example, as a child did you want to participate in school activities, Band, Choir, basketball, or Art Shows How did they overcome their fears and insecurities? Most likely they either had someone supporting them or they Did it themselves.

Mantras and Meditations are a good way to start. I am Strong, I and Powerful, I am Fearless, I am Good, I love Myself, I can do anything, I worked hard for this, I will overcome.

Don’t forget that the Power of Positive thinking isn’t enough. You really must put the work into it. Practice Truly does make perfect. Journaling your progress is a great way to remind you to go further each day, and it doesn’t have to be written down.  You can add simple notes in your calendar app for the day. Dreams as Well. Setting an Alarm on your phone giving yourself inspirational quotes. You can often find Apps everywhere to help boost your self Confidence and Self Esteem.

Try a little more each day. Remind yourself when you fall into your old habits and start those old behaviors again to yell at yourself. Lol productively. Don’t ever give yourself negative feedback. If you catch yourself doing it, work on reframing the statement. Instead of saying You are Horrible at this, Tell Yourself. Great Try! Let’s practice and do better next time.

It’s hard to remind yourself that you are a Beautiful Work in Progress and It’s perfectly ok to Stumble and take steps backward. If you do, You get Up Brush yourself off, and Keep your Head up.

“Never give up” may be a very overused saying. But I have found out that it works very well in my family.  It has gotten us through some very tough Anxiety and Highly Stressful situations. Once you find the one that works for you it will become your family Motto.

Childhood Trauma doesn’t have to destroy your life. You can break free from the Entrapment of our Minds. Break the Chains that held you back and Change Your Fate in the Process. Get out there Wake Up and Be Free.

Shadow Talk: Courage

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Have you been where you are unable to do something you wanted to do? You had the opportunity and all the support there, however, you still couldn’t go through with it. You need that little boost of courage to get you through.

Courage Vs Encouragement

Courage is what you have within you.

Encouragement is what you receive from others.

Encouragement feeds courage. Think about when you are born. Encouragement is given for you to take your first breath and spreads like a wildfire throughout your life to where you begin to give it to yourself.

How are you doing with that today? What encouragement did you receive today? And do you have a partner in your life that will be that person for you?

Let’s Work An Example

Your Child Loves horses, Thinks Horses are Amazing.

They want to take care of horses and learn to ride them. So, you sign up and pay for riding lessons because they are so excited.

Helmet, check; Boots, check; everything they need, check.

You show up for their first lesson, and your child freezes.

They can’t do it.

How do you respond?

At this point, it becomes a lesson for you, the parent, just as much as it does for the child. Are you giving Encouragement so that they can build Courage in themself?

How are they processing how they feel? Are they scared? How can you help them overcome that fear?

Now is when you dig into your own self-talk.

What Would You Tell Yourself?

Share in the experience, remember support also means knowing you are not alone.

What If You Weren’t Given Encouragement Growing Up?

Some people were told to “just do it” without being allowed to fail. They have forced courage; they grow up with very different personalities. They will sometimes deal with a lot of anxiety and depression alone because if they have a small setback, of any kind, it can be devastating for them.

“Forced Courage” is an oxymoron. It’s an act, an outward face of courage masking internal fear coupled with action. It’s akin to the difference between giving someone a Million Dollars (an award, charitable donation, etc.) and being forced to give someone a Million Dollars (paying ransom, being extorted, etc.).

There are so many versions of how “forced courage” gets developed. Did you receive pep talks but weren’t nurtured through facing your fears? Were you told, “You can do it,” given “encouragement,” but under the words was a hidden threat? “Because if you can’t, won’t, or don’t do it, right now, you’ll never get another chance, and I never want to hear about you wanting to do this again.”

Alert! Alert! Panic Sets In!

I have seen children go into full meltdowns from this. It’s Toxic to the child; if you do this, STOP!

Because at that point, in a child’s head, they begin hearing negative self-talk.

“I’m not good enough, I’m stupid for wanting to do this, I’ve disappointed someone, I bet they hate me now, I will never get a chance again, the thing I love Is now gone.”

All stages of grief hit at once. Children don’t know how to sort all of that out. All of that could have been avoided if handled better.

Not Good Enough….Stupid…Disappointed…Hate…Never…Gone

Does that sound familiar? This is the endless tape of shame, self-hate, and defeat that keeps people living in fear. And it plays over and over every day, at every opportunity, through the entirety of people’s lives. It starts in childhood and continues into adulthood. Holding people back, keeping them from reaching their full potential.

Don’t be the Cause of Someone Else’s Shadow Work!

Do it for yourself, build your own courage. You fight harder for yourself, and it will give you pride.

This Works with anything from jumping off a diving board to addiction. Everyday life is full of daily opportunities to be courageous.

Be Who You Are, Voice Your Truths, Encourage Others, Create a Better Future.

Let’s Talk About: Knowing When to Make Amends

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We all make mistakes in life. We make poor decisions and hurt those we love and some we don’t. How do we know when the time is right to make the first steps toward healing? Let me tell you, my story.

It’s not easy for me to apologize but I used to say I’m sorry for everything. Confused? Lol, I don’t blame you. Well, you see I used to always feel worthless and that everything was my fault. That I would never be loved or find someone that loved me. Yes, I was told these things and I took them as truths. It wasn’t until the last few years that I realized that the time to let the past go was now and I needed to heal. I needed to start with the one person who hurt me all my life. My Father. I’m not the only person in the world with Daddy Issues.

My father was very strong, well known, influential, and did so much for the safety and progression of his community. I guess that’s where I get my drive from. I always wanted to make him proud so that he would give me attention. I always felt like I disappointed him. Honestly, I don’t know if he was proud of me or not. I like to think he is, and I believe I’ll keep thinking that. 

In January 2020, I was out to lunch with my Papaw, and in walked my father with 2 other gentlemen. We all sat together for lunch and when I went to pay my father had already paid. That was his love language. Like so many others of his generation.  I had a horrible feeling that this visit would be the last good one.  A short time later I went to visit him, and I asked if we could put the past behind us and he said he would love that. After that, we talked at least every 2 weeks, which was more than I believe we had my whole life. 

Even though we only saw each other a few times, due to Covid-19, 2020 was the best year we had communication-wise. At the end of January 2020, my Papaw and Mamaw passed away and he was able to come and show support, though he couldn’t stay long. His health was deeply declining, and he took great precautions and didn’t let covid take him out. He passed away on December 1, 2020.

The dirty truth is that my father and mother were high school sweethearts that got married, fought about stupid stuff that young married people do, and divorced. My father was remarried by the time my brother and I arrived a month apart. I then became a dirty little secret. Of course, the family knew, but as far as the public, it wasn’t known. 

I was celebrated by my mothers’ side of the family and only accepted by my fathers’ side for roughly a year, total.

When I met my grandmother again as an adult, I forgave her for treating me poorly as a baby. She wouldn’t hold me. She denied I existed. Through forgiveness, I was able to learn about her mother who was full Native American, and oh the stories.

Even at my father’s service, his siblings ignored me and his community members had no idea who I was.

What was I to expect? I was treated the same by my own siblings. 

Backing up a little bit, I really forgave him in 2017 when I named my Pagan Church/Coven after him. While I should have, traditionally speaking, had the last name Rowan, I wasn’t given that. (Remember, I was a secret.) So I decided to claim it for a positive.

My father and I went years without speaking, but I am forever grateful that we were able to have the time we did. You may never be ready to move forward, but when opportunities present themselves, you have to feel the discomfort and force your way through it, and take the chance. Otherwise, you risk regretting not taking the chance later.

Say what you need to say, get off your chest what you need to get off your chest, if for no other reason than to free yourself from regret. You deserve Peace and Happiness, make amends for your own comfort.

Shadow Talk: Sadness

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You will find me talking a lot about Mental Health here on my Page. I am Not a therapist. This is all a part of my healing journey and Helping Guide others along the way. If I can help in any way, I want the opportunity to do so.  Is Sadness a State of Mind, An Emotion? A Condition? NO, it is a Symptom.

IT is your body’s way of letting you know that something is wrong. I stated in my introduction post that I Have Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar Disorder, and PTSD. Sadness is my first Alert Symptom, and It takes me a while to get there. For you think of it as your body’s red flag Alert System. 

I have gone days and not understood just exactly what was wrong with me. Just seemed very off. Could your mind be grieving about something? Did a conversation not go as planned? Something was left unsaid? In that case, I caution you, always show those you love you care and never leave things unsaid. I have dealt with death a lot recently and I can tell you it’s best to always be truthful and upfront. I know I’m not the only one but that is my advice.

When You are feeling sadness, it gives you a sense of disregard for life and the simple pleasures you once desired. Depression is usually the cause. Seek a friend, a therapist, a clergy member, someone that can sympathize and guide you into the Light. 

Therefore, I am here to offer some time and advice. I have been there I have had the Depression Black Outs. Yes, those are Real. This last time I had a blackout depression I was functioning very well for all my daily tasks, but my mind was just in a different mode. I’m a little proud of my mind. It bought me a book for depression and anxiety. It’s a 30-day interactive book kind of like a self-Help journal. I’m excited to start it. I believe doing it with a clear mind will help when times truly get tough.

Pay attention to your body and your symptoms like sadness. Think of a solution. Partake in a hobby. So something that makes you happy. Do not allow yourself to get too far off the path. Remember You are Loved, you are important and you are Valued. 

Let’s Talk About: Mental Stress

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I wouldn’t be following my own advice and would not be True to You my People, my Clients, and my Friends if I didn’t talk about what’s going on in my own life. I took a Mental Break with No Let’s Talk About Blog or Shadow Talk because I was dealing with my own inner turmoil.

How Can Someone with a Mental Illness possibly help me through my issues you ask?

Because I don’t allow it to Keep me down, and our Motto around here is Never Give Up. We work as we heal, and we heal as we work. Waiting until we are healed to begin to work, or waiting until we are done working to heal would leave us waiting forever. My Mamaw instilled that in me and I’ve passed it on to my little.

A bit About me, I am 41 and diagnosed with Bipolar Anxiety depression, and PTSD. I also struggle with Suicidal thoughts and Into the Void while Driving. I am on Meds and Attend Weekly Therapy.  So After watching me go downhill for 2 weeks, my therapist called my doctor’s office and I got seen the next day.

So here I am back to work. What happened? Well, for those that are not aware, besides all you see here, I am A High Priestess and I Host an Event called Central WV Pagan Pride. It’s a rather large Event that I and several others work very hard on. I had Been working on Creating the Program for the Event and Was Hyper Focused and Dedicated to getting it done. I was waiting on Feedback from everyone as well as putting it together how I wanted it to be sent off to the editor. And once I did I felt 1000% better. 

A Tragedy was averted and that very morning I sent over what parts I had done to be edited and completed. So I was feeling good and relieved. 

They Truly are the Best. All you see here is our Working together. mysticpcwv.com

My Doctor’s orders, “Start sooner so you don’t get stressed.” Lol, I love his optimism but unfortunately, it’s never that simple is it.  We literally create stress on ourselves, don’t we? If something is coming up and we are not necessarily looking forward to it don’t we create obstacles and blocks in our path. That is manifestation. In our minds it becomes physical. You are more Powerful than you think. Our mind is More Powerful than you give it credit for. 

Our Minds are Both a Blessing and a Curse. It Will be our Biggest Protector and our Biggest Creator. It’s always easier to say take time for yourself. But when you are in that state of mind you can feel that the world will be destroyed if you don’t get the project completed, Sounds Silly doesn’t it? Ever have a project due in school and feel the stress of getting it completed on time. That’s it.  Some Get Hyper Focused and That’s what I did. It’s a Toxic trait of being so much of a Virgo. Lol Cause Ya know too much of one thing is bad for you. I recognize it. Remember Seeing the Traits is the first Part of Changing yourself and Creating the Life you want. 

Give Yourself Time Like My Doctor ordered and Take Breaks Reach out some will step up and Help You. Talk to your friends and agree who will step in to Do What in times of Stress, Create a Plan. They are your Support Team for a Reason. Who is going to the grocery store? Who is Cleaning and who is Cooking. These are great tools to think about. 

What about you have any ideas? Comment Below.

Shadow Talk: Love

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Let’s talk about forbidden love and Star Crossed Soul Mates.

How many times have you fallen deeply in love and it just didn’t work out so you take a break and try to reunite later in life? Maybe the Feelings never went away, maybe your heart was always with them and you just finally opened up yourself enough to allow someone else to enter.

It could be THat Eternal Soul Bond, Your Soulmate. As we Pass through Many lifetimes on our Journey We develop a few of these relationships. However, one is Always stronger than the others. Not all those relationships are of the Eternal Soul as I call it. The Eternal Soul is the one that you compare all other relationships are defined by. 

The Eternal Soul Bond

Once you have connected with this person you can recall every memory, See into each other thoughts and Even find them wherever they may be. It’s the feeling that you just Know. The Psychic Claircognizant is what connects you. 

No matter where you go in life the Eternal Soul Bond is always connected to you. Even when you lose the Person in Life you may fall into the deepest stages of Grief and you will feel like you life is ending. I have experienced this personally and you truly feel like your heart is ripped in pieces. 

It takes a long time to move forward from that loss and I still needed this person’s approval for future relationships. Well ok I didn’t need it but I felt better with this person’s approval. Nobody knows me better, who else could see compatibility from an outside point of you. 

If you’re Lucky you can reconnect as Best Friends and Truly support Each other while you are both in other Relationships.  This May Also be Why so Many are in Multiple Relationships at once. Poly Relationships are because you love more than one person at a time. This Can Be from the Eternal Soul Bond as Well. Deep Emotional Connections aren’t just based on Astrology and Feelings, it’s For A HIgher Purpose. 

The High Purpose can range from anywhere from being in a supportive role in the other’s growth to being the Reason that the other person’s path becomes off course and destructive. Look at your past relationships: have you had an Eternal Soul Bond or was it a Forbidden Love.

Death and Loss

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This past week I lost my Beloved Emotional Support Guinea Pig Thor. It was a tough one but he didn’t cross over alone. And that reminded me I wanted to give Death the honor around me that it deserves. Since the beginning of 2020, I have lost my Grandparents, my Father, My Mamaw’s dog Mimi, my Mothers Cat Minx and Now my Thor. He was my 2nd Guinea pig to Balder who I lost years ago.

Mamaw was My Rock, she was my Teacher and my Protector. Papaw was more my Father and they raised me while my mom, a single parent, worked to provide for us. We knew it was coming, we tried to prepare. The whole family did but it simply isn’t enough. The grieving process still hits you. Now even as I say this I don’t really feel like I had a chance to grieve.

You see, let’s back up. Mamaw and Papaw were neither feeling good that weekend and Papaw requested that Mama stay with him but she couldn’t because she didn’t feel good herself. So my Uncle and his friend stayed the weekend. That night Mamaw collapsed and we went straight to her. She was transported to Ruby Memorial Hospital in Morgantown and we all went to rest. They didn’t think she would make it but she held on. We called Papaw the next evening to give him an update on Mamaw said I Love you and Papaw Passed away in his sleep. He wasn’t alone.

We got the call on the way to Morgantown, turned around, and made it to him as soon as possible. Then decided not to tell mamaw. She had started making progress. Her last words to me were Hey Gwen and Love you too. I find myself crying a little now as I recall the memories. Mamaw held on till 2 days after Papaw’s Funeral, we never told her he was gone, I figured she already knew. I was there by Mamaw’s side holding her hand as she took her final Breath. I told her it was ok that we loved her and it was ok to move on. We understood.

I went straight into work mode, I created the Music list, the Slideshow of Photos and I wrote both Eulogies . I hope I made them proud. I still talk to them both all the time.

Things went differently with my Father. He called me as he was on his way to the hospital and said he would talk to me when he got out. He never went home. Last New I could tell him was hey Dad We are Tudors. Henry the VIII cousin actually lol. I did receive a call from his cell phone after he was gone though.

What bothers me is that he passed away alone, so many did in 2020. We didn’t have a great relationship, we just didn’t click well in this lifetime. I’m sure the next one will be better. The one thing I can say is for those that I lost they definitely knew I loved them. With my Father, My Church/Coven is Named after him and our Ancestral Roots, Rowan Temple of Light.

With All the Loss that I have had to face I was a little bit more prepared when I lost Thor. Today is actually my first day back to work actually and here I am writing about Death.

I want you to know that even though our loved ones aren’t physical anymore you don’t stop thinking about them, feeling them near, or even hear their voice. It sneaks up on you, but after feeling it a few times, it kind of becomes a comfort. Now I’m not saying everyone sticks around like ghosts, while I do believe in them, These are More like Energetic Memories. Memories that connect us to them whenever we need them the most.

Why is that the best? Because their energy then becomes part of you.

So that is the Best Part of Healing, taking in the lessons and the knowledge they shared with you allowing yourself to grow in the process becoming a super version of yourself because of them. So Let us all Grow to be Better More Super Beings With their Energetic Memories.

Shadow Talk: Wild

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When was the last time you were able to let out your wild side? Your primal scream can be your first step. Just by taking a few moments to allow yourself to go into nature and release your voice. Your next step while you’re out in those woods is to ground. Now I’m picturing my favorite place to go, it has a river, a stream works just as well, put your hands or feet in the water and visualize all your sadness, uncertainty, and anxiety just washing away.

Look at the lady in the photo. She seems to be searching, doesn’t she? What is she searching for? Does she find her way through the darkness? Does she see how her wild side can emerge? How can she release the restrictions that have been placed on her since childhood? A new world is out there for her to take on. Leaving behind all that tore her down.

She now realizes she is free and can allow herself to become the person she has always dreamed about becoming. She has no restrictions, no one around making her feel inadequate. She is the Woman of her own Dreams.